You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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