please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize