I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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