forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
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