Where did you get a picture of my penis
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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