capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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