If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize