I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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