I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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