My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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