I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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