You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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