all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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