Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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