I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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