oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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