oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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