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he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
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