Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize