Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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