Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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