I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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