I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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