When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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