I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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