just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
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I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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