every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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