Can Purell be used as lube?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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