Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize