he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize