thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize