I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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