apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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