Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize