i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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