No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize