remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
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I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize