There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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