drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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