Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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