you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize