I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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