That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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