Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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