PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
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so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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