my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize