be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize