i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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