Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
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Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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