He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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